MAN – WOMAN – LOVE – WOMAN – MAN – LOVE

WOMAN:

Is this love?  

Is this real?  

Can you explain to me  

Exactly how you feel? 

 

MAN:

 I would climb a mountain, sail any sea 

I would do anything, please believe me   

My love for you is real and totally true   

There is nothing for you I would not do  

 

WOMAN:

You say love conquers all 

Love makes one strong

Love turns everything right 

And sees no wrong  

 

MAN:

Yes I do say this for I believe it true 

I was divinely blessed, the day I met you  

In you, I have found the strength to conquer all 

My love for you rights all wrongs, big and small  

 

WOMAN:

Forgive me my sweet 

For questioning you   

You see I have to be sure 

That your love is true  

 

MAN:

My precious my sweet believe me when I say 

You are the only lady that has ever made me feel this way   

For the rest of my life, I will love you and be true 

Now that you give me your all, this and so much more will I do  

 Poem from ‘Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part II’

7

 

Ebooks from GLL Publishing available at Amazon, Smashwords etc – Books also available via http://www.gllpublishing.com

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 1

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 2

Truths, Lies And Untold Secrets

Blood Borne Connections

U Murder U (Suicide)

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‘Hope’ taken from ‘Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled’

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Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 1 and Part 2 are part of the GLL Publishing Collection

 

“Hope

My pessimistic friend says that I am a joke

That I am too optimistic because I am called Hope.

We were once ‘one’ before but he made a choice one day

To remove me from his life, now he lives in a hope-less way.

He blames me for the pain and misery he suffers from all the time.

I have tried to tell him to change because his choices are his not mine.

 

You see I am what is considered a good thing

I have lost count of the many joys and anticipated blessings I bring.

There are so many people that look forward to a brighter day

 

So I am constantly called upon to show them the way.

I work hand in hand with a wonderful loyal dedicated friend

His name is Faith and he is strong, resilient and does not bend.

 

All good things come in threes so I am told

That probably explains why we have a third partner who is so glorious and bold.

He is the greatest of the three of us, full of passion and so strong

There is nothing He cannot do, and when you repent He forgives your every wrong.

His name is Love and He is truly the Great of great

Our mission: I, Hope, have Faith and with Love we operate.”

 

 

Ebooks from GLL Publishing available at Amazon, Smashwords etc – Books also available via http://www.gllpublishing.com

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 1

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 2

Truths, Lies And Untold Secrets

Blood Borne Connections

U Murder U (Suicide)

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Happy Birthday to Me – 3rd February – I’m going to lose one stone in one month!

bath

My broken bath – I tried to mend the crack with brown tape – It didn’t work 🙂

 

I was scheduled to go on holiday to Orlando on the 19th of December 2016 and on the 18th my bath cracked and I couldn’t use it. My flight was a morning flight so I had to go to the gym, work out and shower there before heading to the airport.

When I got back to London on New Year’s day I still had a broken bath so again I had to go to the gym, work out first then have a shower.

On the 3rd of January, I decided to make a change in my life. It would be my birthday in one month, on the 3rd of February and I needed to lose some weight, I needed to get healthy in my mind, body, and soul.

So what did I decide to do?

I decided to look at my broken bath as a blessing and not a pain.

I decided to go to keep going to the gym and get fit.

I’ve given myself a month to change my lifestyle and it will be my birthday gift to me x

I have taken some ‘before’ pictures and will share them with you next month with my ‘after’ pictures.

Wish me luck 🙂

 

7

 

Ebooks from GLL Publishing available at Amazon, Smashwords etc – Books also available via http://www.gllpublishing.com

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 1

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 2

Truths, Lies And Untold Secrets

Blood Borne Connections

U Murder U (Suicide)

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Chapters 1 – 14 of Blood Borne Connections

Blood Borne Connections - book cover

 

 

Chapters 1 – 14 of Blood Borne Connections have been published on this blog

Let me know what you think

 

Two Plants

Ebooks from GLL Publishing available at Amazon, Smashwords etc – Books also available via http://www.gllpublishing.com

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 1

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 2

Truths, Lies And Untold Secrets

Blood Borne Connections

U Murder U (Suicide)

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https://www.facebook.com/gllpublishings.co.uk?ref=hl

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Blood Borne Connections – Chapter 12

Blood Borne Connections - book cover

 

Chapter 12

‘My transformation – Taťána to Tatiana’

 

When I was fifteen, I used to help the teachers in the orphanage teach English and History to the children. I knew that I wanted to be a teacher and I hoped to take some examinations and train as a teacher. My little sister, Tereza, was eight years old and had long ago forgotten our parents. I tried to remind her with photographs but she would shake her head and call me her mother, “Matka Tata”, I tried to get her to call me sister but she would shake her head and say, “No Sestra Tata, Matka Tata” – she reminded me of my mother – strong minded.

The orphanage was a good and safe place managed by Mrs. Izabela Svobodová. She was like a guardian angel – she really cared about us children and never hid her feelings. We used to hear horror stories of different orphanages in Europe where the children were treated very badly. Some had terrible buildings where children would literally freeze in winter and some had buildings with no windows so that when it rained, inside would get wet. We heard stories of girls driven out of orphanages when they were sixteen and ending up as prostitutes. We heard stories of overcrowded orphanages where the children were not cared for properly, not educated and were bullied or beaten regularly by the workers. We didn’t have any of that at our orphanage. We were treated well, given respect and love and told to treat other people respectfully and with love (to love our neighbor as our self).

Mrs. Svobodová would not stand for bullying or ill treatment of the children by any worker and for this I loved her as I would a favorite aunt if I had one. The day she was suddenly taken ill and had to be taken by ambulance to a hospital in Prague was a sad day for all of us. We had a new woman come in to manage the orphanage called Mrs. Mertle. She told us that she was from Poland and had lived in Czechoslovakia for over twenty years. She said she had so many new ideas for the orphanage which she would immediately implement because she didn’t think that Mrs. Svobodová would survive her illness. The first thing I noticed about her was what I can only describe as bleak ‘hollowness’. Maybe I am wiser now and I am looking back in hindsight and this makes me critical of her actions. The truth is if I am critical of her actions then what should I say about my own?

It was on a Wednesday that the lady from America came to the orphanage. She came in a big car that most of us had never seen before and she wore a big hat that none of us had ever seen before. Her blonde hair shone in the sun and her clothes looked like she had stepped off the page of one of the contraband American fashion magazines which Mr. Kovář, our head gardener and security man kept in his shed. Tereza said – ‘she looked shiny and new and not real’. Wise words from a little girl!

“She wants to take five girls who can speak and understand English very well back to America and give them a chance of a better life, a life free from communism.”

Even now those words still haunt me. They still manage to pierce my soul, to unpick a healing wound in my heart and lay it bare for all types of infections to invade – to shatter me! I wish that I had never heard those words spoken by Mrs. Mertle that day. I wish that the American lady had never come to the orphanage. With all my heart I wish that Mrs. Svobodová had never taken ill and had to leave the orphanage. But what good is wishing? I could wish until I was blue in the face and nothing would have changed.

Back then, I thought I was one of the chosen, one of the selected few. All five of us went around looking down on the other children – we acted like we were better than them. There were over ten girls between fifteen and sixteen who could speak and understand English but I had been chosen because in my head I was special. My mother had talked about leaving Czechoslovakia and going to the West and I was going to live her dream. The American lady told us that we would either be adopted by a good American family or be able to live in an American orphanage. She said that she had a lot of contacts in America; she knew people in modeling agencies and wealthy people who were looking for European nannies or au pairs who would be happy with us because we were all pretty and once we were eighteen we could get jobs. We would be able to help our brothers or sisters by sending them money for a ticket so they would one day join us in America. At the time I didn’t think it strange that the five of us selected all had a brother or a sister in the orphanage. In fact Mrs. Mertle said that this was an added bonus as we were securing a bright future for our siblings. The thought of leaving Tereza broke my heart but the thought of having a better life in America and one day sending for her to come and live with me consoled me. I told myself that I was not only doing this for Tereza, I was doing this for mama and papa as well.

Within days our paperwork was organized and we were set to go. I asked my best friend, Leona, to look after Tereza for me and promised to write to her every week. Leona begged me not to leave the orphanage, she said that she had had a dream that the communist regime would end before 1990. She also said that she had a bad dream about the American woman but I refused to listen to her. Leona was always having dreams; we sometimes teased her and called her ‘Leona Josephina the dreamer’. We often told her she was like Joseph in the Bible who was always dreaming and annoying his brothers and like Joseph she had been sent to annoy us. She would retaliate by telling us that Joseph’s dreams came true and that God speaks to people through dreams. She was so serious when she told me that I should stay in Czechoslovakia and wait for a few more years. She insisted that things would get better, we would be older and wiser and then we could all go to America or England or Canada, anywhere we wanted to go. She reminded me that we were the four musketeers, me, her, Tereza and Eduard, Leona’s little brother. We had made a vow that we would always stay together and I was now breaking that vow. She cried and begged me for two days but I wouldn’t listen. In the end to get some peace and quiet I told her she was just jealous that she hadn’t been chosen. You should have seen her face; it was like I had hit her with a baseball bat. I have been hit with a baseball bat in America several times so I know what it feels like. On the day I left Czechoslovakia I begged Leona to forgive me. I knew she would take care of Tereza but I didn’t want to leave in the middle of a fight with her. She is a good Christian and she said that she had already forgiven me. We hugged and cried and hugged some more. I kissed and hugged Tereza and hugged Eduard (he tried to be a brave little boy but I saw the tears in his eyes). My own tears blinded me as I climbed into the bus that would take us across Europe to our ultimate destination – America.

 

Ebooks from GLL Publishing available at Amazon, Smashwords etc – Books also available via http://www.gllpublishing.com

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 1

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 2

Truths, Lies And Untold Secrets

Blood Borne Connections

U Murder U (Suicide)

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https://www.facebook.com/gllpublishings.co.uk?ref=hl

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Blood Borne Connections – Chapter 8

Blood Borne Connections - book cover

 

 

Chapter 8

 

“Are Catholics Christians?” Dorothy asked.

Julius studied her for a moment not sure where her question was leading. “Why do ask?”

“My husband used to hit me, abuse me, lie to me and cheat on me. Each time I told him that he wasn’t behaving like a Christian he would say that he wasn’t a Christian, he was a Catholic. I’m a Christian and I thought that Catholics were Christians. I used to pray and pray to God to make him change, to make him love me the way I loved him but God didn’t change him . . . nothing changed him.”

“I’m a Christian and I was raised in the Catholic Church. Last time I checked, Catholics are Christians. My wife grew up in a Pentecostal Church. I find it more charismatic than the church I grew up in but they more or less preach the same thing. I believe it’s all about one God, one Word and one Love – it’s not about a denomination. People think a church is just a building what they don’t see is that the real church is the people inside the building and it doesn’t even end there, it’s also about the relationship those people have with God. We are supposed to do the right thing, not by force but because we want to. We all have free will and we get to make our own choices. It’s because of free will that God doesn’t force people to change. I believe that God creates situations for people to change but ultimately it’s down to the individual.”

“You asked me if I killed my husband, the truth is he killed me . . . he took my life and destroyed it.”

“Give me your hand.”

“Why?”

“My mom used to do this to me when I was younger and I used to think that things were hopeless. Come on, give me your hand and look at me.”

She reluctantly gave him her hand and looked into his eyes. He sat holding her hand and looking at her. Without breaking eye contact, he picked up his coffee cup and placed it on her hand. It took a few seconds for what he had done to register. He smiled when he saw her frown, snatch her hand away then jump back startled and rub her hand.

“Owww, what . . . why did you do that?”

“Do what? I thought you said you’re husband killed you. If you were dead you wouldn’t have felt that.”

“You burned me to show me that I’m still alive?”

“No, I burned you to show you that you’re not dead. Where there is life there is hope and where there is hope there is usually a long rope to use with faith and climb out of a situation. You said your husband abused you and hurt you and that you prayed and prayed for God to change him. Did it ever occur to you that God heard your prayers when you first prayed and that maybe God has changed something in your life, maybe He has changed you?”

Moments passed as she stared at him; his words brought clarity to her soul – tears glistened in her eyes. “I didn’t kill him,” she finally sobbed, “God knows I wanted too. I had the knife in my hand and I was ready to stick it into his heart but I thought about his mother and what it would do to her. How my using the knife might hurt her.”

“I don’t understand,” Julius frowned.

“I was standing above him when I looked at the knife. In the middle of all the madness in my head the knife seemed to have a bizarre calming effect on me. You see, it was part of a set his mother had given to me for Christmas some years ago. I really care about his mother; she has always been kind to me. I’m an orphan and his mother is the closest thing to a mother I ever had. She told me to leave him when he first started to hit me but I wouldn’t. I had this strange thought when I was looking at the knife – if I stabbed him and he died his mother would think that I hated her, not because I had killed her son but because I had used the knife she had given me. I didn’t want her feeling bad so I stabbed the pillow next to his head. I was about to leave when I thought I’d better move the knife away from his head in case he turned in his sleep and cut himself. I tried to get the knife out of the pillow and ended up cutting my hand and getting blood all over the pillow and bed sheets; there was so much blood everywhere. Then I had this idea. I knew that he was paranoid about being abducted by aliens. His mother told me once that when he was younger she had to work most nights and his father had to watch him, his brother and sister. Well, his father would bring women to the house when she was at work. Nigel used to get up some nights and wander around half asleep so his father told him that if he didn’t stay in his room aliens would get him. He would tell Nigel horror stories of how aliens had taken people away and experimented on them by eating their brains. His father was a mean man. I guess theirs is the case of like father like son. For some reason Nigel kept on wandering around in the middle of the night half asleep, so one night his irate father decided to teach him a lesson. He put foil paper all over the basement, draped some dummies with silver material and placed some flickering lights around the room then he carried a sleeping Nigel from his bed to the basement and put him on sheets stained with red ‘blood-like’ paint and locked him in there. Nigel woke up and thought that he had been abducted by aliens. He banged on the door for hours but his father refused to let him out. That night traumatized him. He never left his bed at night again. Now he hates the color silver and flickering colored lights and he can’t touch foil paper without hyperventilating-”

“Are you serious?”

She nodded, “Guess how I found out?”

“How?”

“One day in the early days of our marriage, this is going back a few years, I made him a sandwich and wrapped it in foil paper to keep it fresh. I left it on a dish by the window because he was having a nap. It must have been about thirty or so minutes later when I heard him screaming and shouting. I ran upstairs to see what was going on and found him cowering on the floor next to our bed. Somehow, the sun and a mirror on the wall were reflecting light off the foil paper and different colored lights were flickering on the wall. When I managed to calm him down he told me he thought the aliens had come to get him again then he cried like a baby and insisted I get rid of the foil alien on the dish. To keep him calm I played along and made a big effort of putting on some rubber gloves, un-wrapping the sandwich and holding the foil at a distance as I took it out of the room. I called his mom afterwards and she explained what his dad had done when he was a boy. That’s why I did what I did today.”

“What did you do?”

“I capitalized on his fear. I had a stash of foil paper which I scattered around the room. I put some on the pillow next to him and left the knife lying in the blood on the sheets. I figured that his drug-induced mind would take care of the rest. He was always using drugs. He would spike Indian hemp with LSD or heroin. I used to think that the drugs made him mean but I think that he was just born that way. When you marry someone you never expect they’ll end up hating you.” She paused as she struggled to control her emotions, “I used to be so scared of the thought that ‘he hated me’ that I buried my head in the sand. I was desperate for love and affection, I did everything he asked me to do but he still hated me.” She froze when she realized that she was being held gently in strong arms.

“You’re free,” Julius told her. “Hate has no power over you as long as you don’t hate in return. I learned that lesson years ago. His hate has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. You could have killed him but you didn’t; you made the choice not to – despite his hate. He can’t hurt you any more, Dorothy.”

“Nigel said I was a reject because I grew up in an orphanage. He said that I was useless and no one would ever love me. He said that I was a dumb hill-billy. He said-”

“Shhhh, shhhh, forget about what he said about you. What do you say? What do you see when you look in the mirror?”

“I don’t understand.”

“When you look in the mirror do you see the person he says you are or do you see you?”

She shrugged.

“Do you want to know what I see?”

Again she shrugged.

“I see you. I see a strong, attractive and very smart woman. You’re compassionate and loveable. My wife has nothing but good things to say about you and I trust and respect her judgment. I say you’ve been through the worst, now, you deserve the best. You just have to see and believe that things can and will get better for you, Dorothy.”

“How . . . how do I do that?”

“Start by thinking of his words as poison and detox your mind of them, get rid of all the negative hurtful things he said and did to you – then take one new day at a time.”

She looked at him, desperate and confused, “I want that so badly, I just don’t know how to do that.” Silent tears coursed down her face.

Julius studied her for a few moments, “When I was seven years old my maternal grandfather told me something that I have never forgotten. He said thousands of years ago there was a man who was really old and he didn’t have any children but he had great faith in God. One night God took this man outside and told him to look up at the sky and try to count the stars in the sky. Even though this man was old and his wife was also old and past child-bearing age, God told him that he would give him as many descendants as there were stars in the sky. My grandfather said when the man looked up at the sky that night because of his faith he could see how many descendants he was going to have, they were like lights shining in the sky, but not only that – he could see me. My grandfather said I was one of those stars and I had to believe that I was created to be a light and help others. You were one of those stars, Dorothy, and you have to believe you were created to be a light and help others. Darkness and negativity can’t survive in the light – so let go of all the things that have caused you so much pain and embrace the happiness you deserve. With the happiness comes love and the need to help others, I can see it in you, you just have to see it as well.”

“I don’t understand?”

“With all that you’ve been through, you took the time to help my wife and son Dorothy. I can see the goodness in you and I will do whatever it takes to make you see it as well, whatever it takes.”

 Unbeknown to Dorothy, Julius had just spoken words that laid the foundation for a change in the course of her life.

Dorothy felt an unfamiliar feeling take over her – people who knew her, like her mother-in-law and Juanita, had told her similar things in the past but she had thought that they were just being kind. This stranger had nothing to gain and didn’t have to be kind. He didn’t have to hold her in his arms until she stopped shaking. He didn’t have to comfort her as she cried. He didn’t have to say things to her that made her believe her life could change . . . but he did. “Now I know why Cara married you,” she said after a while.

Ebooks from GLL Publishing available at Amazon, Smashwords etc – Books also available via http://www.gllpublishing.com

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 1

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 2

Truths, Lies And Untold Secrets

Blood Borne Connections

U Murder U (Suicide)

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7

 

 

Blood Borne Connections – Chapter 5

Two Plants

Chapter 5

 

Julius gently picked up his sleeping son and placed him in the crib next to the bed. He quickly glanced at his wife to make sure he had not disturbed her. She was still asleep. He looked down at his son as he slept with one tiny hand rested against his cheek. Julius wondered at the human heart and its propensity, how it could grow to accommodate more love as and when required. He loved this child more than he could have ever fathomed. He touched his son’s hand with his finger and marveled at how his son instantly wrapped his tiny hand around his finger even as he slept. His heart fluttered at what he perceived to be a smile from his son. ‘He knows that I love him’, he thought as he caressed his tiny cheek. “I will always love you, Tyrone,” he whispered as he bent and kissed his son’s cheek.

“I guess it’s going to be Tyrone, then,” Cara said softly as she looked at him, “my dad will be pleased we’ve given his first grandson his name, Tyrone Julius Kempton, I like the sound of that.”

He looked at her and smiled, as always she stirred his heart and took his breath away. “I love you, Mrs. Kempton.”

“I love you too, Julius Maxwell Kempton,” she smiled at him as she stifled a yawn and started to sit up.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting up-”

“Oh no you’re not, the nurse said that you need to rest.” He took off his jacket, hid his gun in the pocket, kicked off his shoes, climbed onto the bed and pulled her gently against him.

“What are you doing?”

“Making sure you rest, close your eyes-”

“Maxwell-”

“Close your eyes, you need to rest.”

“But I’m not really that tired.” She buried her face in his chest as she yawned.

“Baby, I can feel you yawning.”

“How can you feel someone yawning?” She yawned again.

He yawned, “You’re using up all the oxygen in the room and you’re making me yawn as well.”

She wrapped her arms around him, “Talk to me so that I can fall asleep.”

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

“Like what?”

“Ummm, like the sound of my voice sends you to sleep.”

“The sound of your voice makes my senses tingle, it is sexy and soothing; your voice is like a silky kiss on a beautiful summer day and a luxuriously warm drink on a cold winter night.”

“Of all the women in the world I had to fall in love with a beautiful journalist who writes poetry. I remember the first night I saw you, there was this confidence about you, and this inner beauty that I knew I wanted to be in my life.” He looked down at her. Her eyes were closed and she was smiling.

“I’m listening,” she whispered.

“Remember the first, second and third time I asked you to marry me and you turned me down?”

She nodded.

“The day you agreed to marry me was one of . . .”

***

The neighbors heard the screaming, the sound of breaking glass and the banging of a hammer. Juanita Ortega lived in the house next door. She heard the sound of fear and she smiled. As instructed, she waited for five minutes then dialed 911. She told the female operator who answered her call to send the police, paramedics and a fire truck because she didn’t know what the problem was but it sounded like someone was being murdered and she could smell smoke. She couldn’t really smell smoke but she knew that this was the only way to get an immediate response. Last week when a young neighborhood girl had been knocked off her bike by a joy-rider, the police and paramedics had been called and it took them twenty-seven minutes to turn up. The fact that the nearest police station was two blocks away and the local hospital was three blocks away made a mockery of the motto ‘Protect and Serve’. Juanita took the latch off the door and went out onto the street where some of the other neighbors had already gathered. No one had made the attempt to get into the house. Then again no one wanted to be accused of breaking-and-entering. A man on Fifth and Strasberg, which was five blocks away, heading in the direction of Pomona, had forcibly gained entrance into the apartment of a female neighbor when he had heard her screaming for help one night. He had kicked the front door open and rushed in swinging a baseball bat in front of him. He saw the assailant beating the woman up and immediately swung at him with the bat. He fractured two of the man’s ribs and knocked out one of his teeth. He was only trying to be a good neighbor but for his reward he was arrested for assault and given a suspended sentence. He lost his job while he was being held in custody and his marriage fell apart because the perpetrator’s lawyer had insinuated the hint of a possible affair between the hero and the victim. The perpetrator who had broken into the woman’s house to rob and kill her, however, spent two weeks in a private hospital and then walked free. There had been a public outcry, people protested at the injustice done to the hero who had only tried to help a neighbor but he didn’t get his job back and his wife moved out of state.

 

People stood outside the house and waited for the law enforcers and paramedics to come. No one made an attempt to get into the house. No one wanted to be a hero.

Inside the house, Nigel McKenna was in a deep state of drug-induced madness. He saw aliens everywhere he looked and, as a result, he ran around breaking things, cussing and screaming that he would kill them. He saw their twisted silver faces in the mirrors on the walls, so he broke the mirrors. He saw their shiny eyes staring at him from the TV screen, so he smashed the TV. He had to destroy them before they destroyed him. They had taken Dorothy and he would not let them take him.

 

Ebooks from GLL Publishing available at Amazon, Smashwords etc – Books also available via http://www.gllpublishing.com

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 1

Despite all odds: A Dream Fulfilled Part 2

Truths, Lies And Untold Secrets

Blood Borne Connections

U Murder U (Suicide)

http://www.gllpublishing.com

https://www.facebook.com/gllpublishings.co.uk?ref=hl

https://www.facebook.com/Blood-Borne-Connections-book-121559344708084/?ref=hl

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